This badly taken photo is of my neighbour's new turkey. Their sole turkey. He lives on the farm behind the house. Except that he doesn't. He patrols the neighbourhood and has taken over garden duty from the pheasant. Unlike the pheasant he is not at all aggressive, but I suspect they may share a brain cell, and it's not his turn. I have no fear of him, if anything it should be the other way round, because he is in my bad books!
He's been eating my kale and spinach, and has pecked all the tops off my spring onions. He doesn't make the usual turkey gobbling sound, but squawks loudly and incessantly from dawn until dusk... a noise somewhere between a distressed sea lion and a chicken laying an albatross sized egg.
I've tried to escort him out of the garden on several occasions, but he only runs in circles. If any of my neighbours have been watching they will have been on the floor weeping with laughter. After much cursing, I finally managed to corner him behind the workshop where he had no option but to fly over the brook, but had to go through a holly bush in order to do it! That wasn't my plan, but I confess I didn't feel sorry!
So I'm asking for suggestions for a name for him. Mine are all unprintable, but I think if he has a proper name it might make me feel more kindly towards him!
(Anything but Bernard - I used to know a mad giant turkey called Bernard.)
Edit: I'm just wondering if it might actually be female? I'll find out...
Names for both genders please!